Category Archives: Dating Columns

Adventures in Tinderland

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Our story begins a few days before New Year’s Eve, 2014. As a Jewish girl who grew up in the Christian haven that is Sussex County, it goes without saying that I am lacking in the department of Jewish friends. The week surrounding Christmas is usually quite boring for me. Everyone is busy with his or her families celebrating the baby Jesus and stuff, so I typically have a lot of time to myself. During this particular bout of me-time, I made a very important decision about my love life. Continue reading Adventures in Tinderland

Romantic Comedies are Bullsh*t

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— And just for good measure, anything written by Nicholas Sparks is bullsh*t, too. 

Sometimes, when I’m bored or have a moment to myself, I like to think about all of the romantic things that have been done for me.

I daydream about the time a guy wrote me 365 letters every day for a year and rebuilt an old plantation mansion WITH HIS BARE HANDS to get my attention.

The time a guy flew all the way to Paris to find me and bring me back to New York City was really sweet, but my personal favorite was when an ex-boyfriend bolted through an airport to catch me before my flight to tell me he still loved me.

Oh wait, none of those things actually happened to me because in the words of Sarah Marshall, they are “bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.”  These are the kind of scenarios we only see in the movies.  Continue reading Romantic Comedies are Bullsh*t

“The Glasses Theory”

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Disclaimer: I am fully aware of the superficiality of this theory. Nothing written below is meant to be taken seriously.

When I was in first grade, in a scheme to obtain a pair of glasses, I lied to my parents and told them that I couldn’t see the classroom board clearly. As any responsible parents would do, they made me an appointment with the eye doctor.

I felt excited on the way there, knowing that I would be coming home with a shiny, new pair of glasses. To my surprise, it would not be that easy.

The doctor began his tests and the moment the puff of air hit my eyeballs; I jumped out of my seat and admitted that my eyesight was perfect. It turns out I don’t like shit touching my eyes. Continue reading “The Glasses Theory”