By TED SANSON
OTT’s Jerk-Of-All-Trades and Wannabe Badass
While this “rapper” turned actor has never been regarded as a “thespian” with range and versatility in his roles, there’s no one in Tinseltown who can better portray an undersized, big-mouthed, shit-talking tough guy with the balls to back up his snarky, dickheaded remarks (a talent which I envy extremely). This knack has seen Wahlberg transform from pop star (did he have any hits besides “Good Vibrations”? Does it even matter?), to Calvin Klein model (dude was YOKED, no h0m0), to one of Hollywood’s top leading men with one of the most unique niches in the business.
Mark has depicted numerous testosterone-fueled, machismo characters in his career – everything from NFL player, to Navy SEAL, to meadhead, to porn star – so take a seat, pack a lipper from your Skoal tin, smoke a few Marlboro Reds and wash it all down with a cold Budweiser and prepare to be floored by some good-ole-fashioned American bad-assery. Without further ado, I bring to the Trax Pack “Mark Wahlberg’s 7 Most Badass Movie Roles.” Continue reading Sanson: Mark Wahlberg’s 7 Most Badass Movie Roles
By TED SANSON
The Mouth of OTT
Good evening, Trax Pack! As ya’ll know, tonight – Thanksgiving Eve – is the biggest party night of the year (#CoolMove)!!! For those of us who still live at home (here, here) and those fortunate scumbags who don’t, we’ll all be traveling back to our local watering holes to get polluted (On Trax) and say “whaddup” to some old “friends.” In the process, we’ll see people we haven’t seen in YEARS – or at least since last year’s TGE festivities – some we like, and some can get Ebola and die a miserable death for all we care. Since misery loves company and bad news sells, I bring to you “The 5 People to Avoid on Thanksgiving Eve.” Continue reading SANSON: The 5 People to Avoid on Thanksgiving Eve
By LINDSEY D.
There are always those people whose posts on social media cause your eyes to roll so far back in your head that you wonder if you’ll ever be able to see straight again. A Starbucks cup. An uninformed political rant. A sleeping dog. A sappy post for #mancrushmonday. A baby with spaghetti all over his or her face. What do they all have in common? If you answered, “I can’t sign on to a social media site without having these things constantly shoved down my throat,” then you are correct. “Well, Lindsey, instead of bitching about them why don’t you just unfriend them?” WELL person who always needs to play devils advocate, I usually do unfriend repeat offenders of annoying habits on social media only to receive a friend request from the person I just deleted shortly thereafter. Another reason I remain Facebook friends with some people is that I run into them often in real life and that would make things awkward. Continue reading My Least Favorite People on Social Media
BY TED SANSON
The Grinch of OTT
Happy Monday, Trax Pack! Back to reality — the reality where your office chair is not so comfortable, your significant other is a few pounds overweight since beach season came to a screeching halt, your pumpkin spice coffee has too much pumpkin spice and not enough coffee (that’s what you get for drinking pumpkin spice coffee, dufus) and your half-special quarterback threw five interceptions yesterday in a crushing loss (but he’s got TWO Thuperbowls!).
Luckily you somehow meandered over to offthetraxradio.com, and your boy T is gonna set you straight and add some color to this melancholy and lifeless Day 1 of the struggle you call a work week. With Halloween in the rearview, Thanksgiving fast approaching and shitty Christmas music a nearly unavoidable phenomenon (we’ll get to that later), I give you the “Top 7 Reasons Why T Hates the Holidays.” Continue reading SANSON: The Top 7 Reasons Why T Hates the Holidays
By TED SANSON
The Founding Father
Before I get “Off the Trax”, allow me to reintroduce myself. My name is T and I’m the Founding Father of OTT. Think Jefferson, Washington, Franklin, Obama. This is the first installment of the “You’re Outta Touch, I’m Outta Time” column, mirroring the podcast segment in which I put a person or group of people on blast. Without further ado, this week’s victim is everyone’s favorite socialite Kim Kardashian. Continue reading SANSON: “You’re Outta Touch, I’m Outta Time”- Kim Kardashian the FAKE, Yeezy, and Kardashi-ites